Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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