he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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