her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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