whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
