yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
