im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
