im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
