I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
