after a month anything with tits is on the radar
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
