Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize