just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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