I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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