I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am available for nakedness
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
