My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
