Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
