she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
