Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Farmville is her only friend.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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