There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
