i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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