I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
