Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
