CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
