He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just want to make out with him forever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
