I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
