Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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