If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
