Ambien. No doubt about it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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