so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
