hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
