respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
