ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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