his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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