everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
