i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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