i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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