Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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