why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
