I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize