Umm I'm too high to move.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
