are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
