My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
