tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
