i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
