I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
