i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
