i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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