Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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