i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
