barbara walters just said penis...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
