I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
