I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
