How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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