Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am one with the molecules
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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