420 ftw
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize