why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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