so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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