i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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