i was born a porn star she said
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
