Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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