Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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