It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
