I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
