Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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