I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
